Insight: like the sun or the moon

Dialogue from the Depths

The paranoia has settled. Sleep improved. Celebrate every positive moment.  I am excited, maybe too excited.  I was excited about the possibility of getting greater stability and starting to work with my wife on a holistic treatment plan.  But insight/acceptance fluctuate – intellectually I understand this to be normal and expected.  But emotionally, this is still draining and somewhat worrying.  Also, insight takes time and I have had over 1.5 years to develop it as I saw the first depression crisis evolve and resolve, but the ?rapid cycling hypomania which remained, blocked any chance of my wife to start the acceptance process.  In this way, the current depression episode is bittersweet – the bitterness is palpable, but opening of awareness and acceptance is definitely a sweetness.

I need to find my own outlet for these feelings, since my wife doesn’t need any extra pressure at this vunerable time.  I discovered this the hard way.  The…

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